This year started with a fear of what’s next in my life after recognizing the call God has given me.
I started questioning God, “What do you really want me to do?”
Though sometimes, I could not comprehend what He wanted to implore but His answers became clear through the daily Jesus-encounters, Jesus-like people and Gospel reminders that made me understand His plans even more.
Fears, doubts, self-pity, insecurities, and other factors led me dwell on my unworthiness and self-centeredness. I would sometimes tell God, “Is this really what you want me to do?” Yet, despite the ignorance and my own disobedience, and even my unworthiness, God pursued me and asked me in the sweetest way possible, one time at our office annual retreat.
“What do you want me to do for you?”
(Luke 18:41, the story of Bartimaeus’ encounter with Jesus)
Amidst the battle I had within myself, that question shed light to my question at the start of the year.
I realized that I was too focused on myself that I failed to recognize that what God wants me to do was the one thing I was longing Him to do for me because He planted that desire Himself. That I just have to let go of my fears, doubts, insecurities, self-centeredness and unworthiness to pave way to the fulfillment of His plans for me.
This year was the most plot-twisted year yet I was able to unravel the answers and the affirmations God has for me, even from the very start.
I was actually planning to make this long and share things point to point, but as I write, my eyes grew tired from the past five days of letting go of a dear beloved in the family— a painful way to end the year but also a way of letting go and letting God.
That’s why if I were to summarize the things I wanted to share more is that…
Life will always have its twists and twirls. Sometimes, we do not understand what God is telling us, but when we open our hearts truly to/for Him, there, we will realize that despite the twists and amidst the twirls, God is there— loving and blessing us just the same.
Dahil kapag ang Diyos and nagbigay, Siya ang tanging makapagpupuno.
It’s true that fears, doubts, emotions and the like will always be there because humans as we are, it’s part of our being, but through recognizing and accepting it, is the only way to let go and let God.
This year started with a fear of my what will be, yet His grace led me to let go all of it and it ended just right leading me to realize where I am meant to be. And thank you for being part of it, in one way or another.
As I embark on this new and unknown journey, I continue to trust in the Lord knowing that He loves me and He will always be by my side every step of the way.
Happy New Year, everyone! May the love of the Lord lead you to where you are meant to be. 😘🎉🎊🎆🎇💕